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5 Ways SEO For Google Is Like Dating A Woman

Posted by in SEO

SEO with Google Is Like Dating

The past 12 months has been an up and down ride for SEO, mainly SEO for Google.  Even though in the long run the changes will be for the better, it still makes me feel like Google keeps biting the hands that feed it.

The thought of cute little furry animals like Pandas and Penguins used to bring me such joy and warm feelings.

But thanks to Google, I feel that joy NO more, I feel that warmth NO more. 

And in my unhappy and cold state I started to think that as a single guy that has dated many women on my journey to find (the one) something interesting hit me…

Dating a woman and Google SEO have many things in common.

The things that make a woman happy, make Google happy,
The things that make a woman hate you, make Google hate you.
The things that make a woman slap you, will get you slapped by Google.

Don’t see it?

Here are 5 ways to have success with dating and with Google SEO.

Don’t Try Too Hard


Remember back in the good ole day in the 50’s and 60’s? OK, me either but I have seen movies haha.

If you liked a woman you would pursue her, you would do announced drop in’s just to say hello, you would call her anytime you wanted, you would tell her how you felt.

But today, if you do all that you will be looked at in any of these 2 ways.

1. your desperate, lonely, needy.
2. you’re a stalker.
2 things you DO NOT want to be in the eyes of a woman and once she sees you like that, you’re done pal. lol


To have success with SEO for Google in today’s world, you still need to do your work to get better results, but you DON’T want to look like you are trying too hard.

What is trying to hard to gain ranks?

Chasing backlinks at high numbers.
Chasing anchor matching links at high numbers.
Stuffing to many keywords into content and pages.

I have said this before and I stick by it, but with most things you do to gain ranks.

It’s not so much what it is you do, it’s more about how much of it and how fast you are doing it that really pisses off Google.

Oh and since we are talking about this, let me throw in this sidebar.

To get page 1 ranks in Google you need backlinks… Period!

Social shares and good content alone, will not get you ranked on page 1.
But backlinks and good content will most def will get you ranked on page 1.

This is true for every piece of content I have optimized and this is true for every keyword I track.

Don’t Cheat or Lie


This is a no brainer, but let me share this anyway. If you want a woman to date you or be with you, then DO NOT be a lying cheating scumbag lol  Simple right?

I’m speaking to the young bucks out looking for love. A woman, well a good woman will pretty much stand by you and work shit out with you on pretty much anything as long as it has nothing to do with cheating or lying.

I learned this a long time ago, things can be forgiven, cheating can’t.

I look at it like this, I like cake, so if I have cake in my face daily, I will eat that cake and be happy I have cake. It doesn’t matter how many cakes our at the store, all I care about is I have cake to eat…so I’m happy :)


Cheating your way to high ranks won’t work, and even if it does work it will only last a small amount of time.

But what is worse, is once you are caught and seen as a cheating spammer in Google eyes, it is VERY hard to ever recover.

So the small amount of success you get is NEVER worth it.

Want to not be seen as a lying cheating spammer in Google’s eyes?

Write good quality unique content that is helpful to people.
Do not re-write old content and lie your way ranks.
Write content from a informed place, know what you say is true, know your facts are correct.
Gain social shares and backlinks naturally by sharing great content that people enjoy and want to share or link to.
Have a website that is here for a reason, have a website that has a REAL person behind it, running it and building a community.

Do all that over time and Google will forgive you when you make the small mistakes.

Get Them To Love You


You ladies love nice things don’t you :)  To get a woman to be with you, it will help if you do nice things for her, and treat her right.

Like flowers for no reason, bubble bath for no reason, calls or text out of the blue to say hi or I miss you. Be nice to her, listen to her, and try to not be an asshole. (I’m personally working on that one) lol

Take this a step further, be nice to her friends and family. Once they see you’re a good dude with good intentions, they will back your play for love and she will see you in a better light.


The best way to look good in Google’s eyes is to have other people tell them they like you.

In this scenario, your readers and followers are HER family.

To get them to tell Google they like you, you first have to share great content. Blog posts, pdfs, ebooks, videos etc…

Now getting more and more of “them” to share your content or linking back to you and your content or commenting on your content is your goal.

Because to Google, they will see this as people liking you, and seeing that you are a wanted and loved resource for people.

And in return, Google will rank you higher, Google will push you up so more people can see you and your content.

Telling Google you are a good resource is good, but the real power is having 100’s or 1000’s of other people telling Google.

Don’t Rush It


Nothing turns a woman off more than trying to move things to fast. This is as bad as the above “trying to hard”.

This applies to moving the relationship to fast and most def applies to rushing to sex.

Every woman is different, oh man is that true, let me share that again… every woman is different haha

But for the most part, they like to keep things moving naturally, they want to know how you feel, they want to be the only one, and they want to know things are moving forward… naturally.

example: I know we just met last week, but I had such s good time and felt a spark when I sat across from you at MC Donald’s and looked in your eyes… I love you. lol

That would be to fast a move.


example: Oh this is a nice restaurant, here’s your menu.. ok TY soooo You wanna get out of here and get naked?

Again to fast a play.

A strong relationship takes time to build, but if you put in the time and effort it will pay off… usually.


Success online never happens fast, not with a blog or a business and with SEO for Google this is even more true.

Solid long term success with SEO takes time, it takes patience… it never comes fast.

You can’t get online today and on Google tomorrow and expect Google to send you top ranks overnight.

Google needs a lot of foreplay before it gives you any prizes.

You want Google to “see you” but you want them to see you for the right reasons, you have to do the things they like to see a great website do and do it over time.

Stick to all the things I mentioned above and throw in…

Well designed website.
A fast loading site.
SEO optimized site.

Google doesn’t give anything up easily, but once you build a relationship with them, you will start to see the Google love that many big websites talk about.

It’s All Changed


You want to know why men can’t figure out woman?

Because the second we think we know them, they CHANGE! LOL

No matter how sweet and nice she is, no matter how young or old she is, no matter how dumb or smart she is… you will never know her or how her beautiful mind and emotions work.

So what do you do? Just focus on the things you know, focus on being wrong a lot fellas. lol

You focus on the fundamentals of making a relationship work. Like I said above, if your good on the fundamentals don’t lie, don’t cheat, then the fundamentals will get you the life-long learning curve.


This one is to easy, but the second you THINK you know what Google wants, they will CHANGE!

This is even more true over the past 18 months or so. Just when you think, ok they want this n that, you realize they now want the other.

No one will ever know exactly what makes Google happy today and tomorrow, but we do know that a few fundamentals won’t be changing anytime soon.

And the only way to stay level at every change Google makes are how well you execute those fundamentals.

What are the fundamentals?

Basically everything I shared in this post.

Write good helpful content.
Make sure your website is a resource for people.
Do your SEO tasks, but don’t OVER DO.
Get your content shared and linked to naturally.
Have a clean running and optimized site.
Build a community and be active on your site.

Do all that over time and your ranks and website will be fine through pretty much any Google update.

At the end of the day, anything important and worth having will take time and work to get.

I know 2 things after writing this – women and SEO for Google will always change and knowing that makes it a little easier to deal with.

I just wish I had cake right now :)



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  • http://smallbusinesstalent.com/ Stephen Lahey

    Ha! Love this post. Funny, yet very true — and useful.

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Thanks Stephen glad it was helpful.

  • Sue Neal

    Thanks for a very entertaining post, containing a ton of good advice. And I’m with you on those lovely pandas and penguins – reckon they could take Google to court for defamation of character 😉

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/annelizhannan Anneliz Hannan

    Only thing different is the way we handle our penalties 😉

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    I would testify Sue haha. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and got the advice thru the humor. People need to stop focusing on the “new” stuff and focus on what really works with SEO and what will ALWAYS work.

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    haha very true Anneliz.. very true :)

  • Lisa Irby

    JP this is sooo friggin clever and fun to read. Love it!

  • http://bossfreeopportunities.com/ Sherry B

    Thanks for sharing this very entertaining and informative post! It got me smiling. Very true how the basics stay the same whether it’s dating or Google! 😉

  • http://keepupwiththeweb.com Sherryl Perry

    That was funny JP. I got the biggest kick out of tip #5. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out . . . :)

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    TY Sherryl, that was my fav part too and sadly it’s soooooo true haha

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Thanks Lisa.. amazing what you think of when your in a sad, cold place haha

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Happy to share it Sherry. More I thought about it, the more I saw how perfect they align.

  • http://WWW.EXTRA-CASH-ONLINE.COM/ Robert Connor

    So that is why we are pulling our hair out over what Google wants. They both can change their mind because they can!

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Pretty much Robert.. can’t live with them, can’t live without them haha

  • Allison

    Congratulations. Although I always mean to get around to reading your posts, the title of this one is the first one that actually got me to carry through and read it. Great title.

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    TY Allison, glad you finally made it over to read one :)

  • John Paul Paquibot

    hahahha i really like this post, very true, Google is a woman , thanks for the useful laughs

  • http://www.callboxinc.com/ Belinda Summers

    Haha. That’s what I love on your blog post John Paul I always get to the bottom of the line. This may be offensive to other women but I won’t deny it we’re as predictable as Google algorithm and I never thought of that not until I read your blog. LOL. Keep posting! :)

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Thanks John.. glad you enjoyed the post and got the funny man :)

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    TY Belinda.. I was hoping the comedy came thru and the post would not be offensive since that wasn’t my goal. I just saw the similarities and thought it was pretty funny how close they are for someone to have success with haha

    I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  • http://www.callboxinc.com/ Belinda Summers

    I really did. I even shared it at G plus. It was well thought out that I’d just got some free advice in SEO and in relationship as well. haha

  • Ashley Faulkes

    Great stuff JP, I would not have thought of Google and women as the same, but now that you mention it….

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    haha crazy how similar they really are Ashley

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    haha happy to help in both areas Belinda

  • Lisa Mylocopos

    After seeing the headline, I just had to read your post, John Paul! Interesting insights, and so funny! I’m still smiling! Some folks could maybe use a pocket checklist? :)

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    haha yep a pocket checklist for both would work nicely :)

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