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15 Twitter Activities That Make My 3yr Old Nephew Want To Kick You In Your Poo

Posted by in Twitter Marketing

15 Twitter Activities That Annoy Your Followers.

I know what you’re thinking “Really JP.. that’s the title you chose?” haha

But let me explain where the inspiration came from for this awesome title. You see I have a 3 yr old nephew, names Shea and his new thing is telling you that he will kick you in your poo.

I was working on this twitter activities post this week when Shea came to visit a couple twitter activitiestimes and each day all I heard was…

“John Paul, I’m gonna kick you in your poo…(insert hysterical laughing by him)

No Shea you can’t have Doritos at 8 in the morning – “John Paul, I’m gonna kick you in your poo”

No Shea you can’t play Angry Birds on my phone – “John Paul, I’m gonna kick you in your poo”

After asking me to buy him EVERY toy that we saw on TV and me finally saying no to one I got – “John Paul, I’m gonna kick you in your poo”

Ok, you get the idea. The boy is stuck on it and I have to say… I literally LMAO each time he says it :)

So all credit for that title goes to my 3 yr old nephew Shea.

But I think it fits nicely with the Twitter activities that annoy me topic we are talking about today.

15 Twitter Activities That Are Annoying


1. Thanking You For An RT With Post and Link

Apparently the RT I gave you wasn’t enough, you now have to Thank me for the RT and include your post and link in the Thank U?

ex: Thanks for the RT John on my “posts title and link”

When you Thank someone for an RT, you are showing appreciation for them tweeting you.. this is not the time to try to share your crap AGAIN.

2. Tweeting Links To Your Stuff

I have talked about how annoying this is many many times, yet I still have good people tweeting me “their stuff” when I didn’t ask for it. If you want to share something with someone then send it thru DM’s first then send a simple tweet saying “Hey John just sent you a DM”

That way you’re giving me the opportunity to see it, review it and share it.

Spammers tweet garbage links at people all day… this is not something you want to mimic!

3. Thanking Me For A Follow On Stream

This is one of those Twitter activities that just erks me. If you want to say Thank U for a follow then just use the DM system.  That is why it is there, personal messages.

Imagine if your adding 200-500 new followers each day and they ALL said Thank U on your stream.  That would get old REALLY fast and get you a nice swift kick in the poo from my buddy Shea :)

4. Ignoring @Mentions and Direct Messages

If someone has taken the time to write you directly with either an @mention or a direct message the right thing to do is to reply. If we were at a party or an event and I walked up to you and said “Hey. Joe how are you?”

Would you just ignore me?  Of course not. Twitter is a virtual social event/party, so treat it the same way.

5. #FF From People Who Aren’t Following You

#FF is your chance to share some of your great followers with other followers.

This is a time for giving back.

So sharing me in your #FF when you’re not even following me is a straight up way to share YOU and no one else.

That’s like me telling you..”Hey Joe, you gotta see this new movie, it’s awesome.” Yet I never even seen it or seen a preview trailer haha  Sounds stupid right?  That’s how your looking when you #FF people you don’t even follow.

6. Asking For RT’s On Your Tweets

I might piss of a few friends with this one, but I have to be honest. :)

Asking people to RT your tweet WITHIN the actual tweet is just wrong wrong wrong.

I have a couple top marketers/social media experts that I follow and read everything they share, yet on the few cases that they did this the first thing that I thought was…

“Dude, that just look’s desperate and not a good look for you”

People will share your stuff if they liked it, if they didn’t they usually won’t and that is ok, you can’t hit a homerun post each and every time.

Asking for RT’s within your tweet is like asking your date if you can kiss her.. it’s desperate and not something the girl wants to hear. Don’t believe me?

Ask any woman that you know what she would think if she was on a date and the guy said “Ummmm Mary, can I ummm kiss you now?”

Now asking for a RT on a post is just fine if you do it thru email or thru direct messages. That is fine. Doesn’t mean you will get a RT but at least you asked in the right setting and you don’t look desperate.

7. Using To Many #Hashtags

#Hashtags are a great way to spread your tweets out past your following, but to many just makes a mess.

For me I think 1-2 is best, 3 if they are small and on point. But anything more then 4 is a mess, it makes it hard to read the tweet and find the actual url that you want people to click.

Your goal with sharing your stuff is to get it read first and RT’d second… Right?

Then stop making it so hard for people to find the url you want them to click.

8. Self-Promotion Cry Babies

Listen we are ALL on Twitter to promote/share something that is ours. Whether you are promoting your blog, your website, a product or even you, It is all promoting.

If you are following me then it is a good assumption that you are in the blogging, marketing, social media, business, entrepreneur world. So if that is true, then you are here to promote just like me.

You are not on Twitter 36 hrs a day JUST to make friends and chit chat and if you are… Get a damn life haha

Now I keep my personal shares/promotions to about 20-25% that means I share 75-80% of YOUR stuff before mine. So if that isn’t good enough for you thennnnnnn just click the unfollow button and no hard feelings :)

Some people share more of them and some share less, but if you stay close to that ratio then you will have the best results and keep your followers happy.

9. People With No Profile or Background or Image

This is Twitter how-to day one lesson one so why is it you still haven’t got this all set up?  Just ridiculous man.

You want people to share your stuff yet you can’t even take the time to tweak a couple things and share who you are?  You sooo deserve a kick in the poo!

This is the most common sense activity out of all the twitter activities I shared here, yet each day I still see people, real people that are on Twitter, sharing and engaging that haven’t done this simple thing.

If you want people to see YOU and see YOU as real and not a spammer, then get a damn pic up and a profile and if your not to drained from all that work, get yourself a nice background.

10. Linking Your Long Tweets Elsewhere

Twitter is about sharing and sharing within 140 characters. This makes you have to think and be creative to say what you need to in those 140 characters.

When you link your tweet to say, deck.ly it is annoying and a waste of people’s time. What’s worse is most of the few times I did click off to read someone’s full tweet it was for an extra 5 words. All that work for 5 words? Super annoying!

If you can’t be creative within 140 then there is a social site called Facebook that you can use to write mini novels and share with people.

This is inline with to many #hashtags. Treat your tweets like tiny sales pages.

Make it easy for people to get the info they need and make it easy for them to take action.

11. The How R U Promoter

Have you had this happen to you?

When someone says “Hi, how r u?” or “Hey John Good morning” and you reply “since that’s what you should do when someone writes you” and they reply back with links to all their new projects.

Not what I expected back and of course super annoying.

Worse part is there is no real way to stop this A-Hole activity since you never know who will do it and you don’t want to ignore people when they write you.

It’s a catch 22 of annoyingness (not sue that’s a word, but it fits nicely) lol

12. The Lazy Paper.li User

This has to be the laziest way to share content from people you like.

Wouldn’t it be so much better if you just tweeted their stuff? The answer is yes and it’s better for you since now the same 5 people you have on your Paper.li you can tweet individually.

This now puts you in front of each of their followers which might get you shared or followed.

The other reason Paper.li sucks is that most of the time if you have me on it, it’s not even for my post, it’s a tweet I shared.  Again if your goal is to share things from people you like, this is not the way to go.

13. The Zero To Hero

Now I am no expert at Twitter or Social Media and I have never claimed to be and pretty sure I never will claim that. But I have found a system that works for me and has worked for the people I have shared it with, so I do know what I’m talking about.

So when you have someone that decides he wants to be a Hero off your back and your years of hard work, it’s annnoooyyyiiinnngggg!

You know the dude that’s has been on Twitter for years with dry results and the same 300 followers and decides he wants to tighten up his twitter game and reads a few posts, gets some advice and 3 weeks or so later they think they are the go to Twitter superstar!

That is just silly!

Take this one annoying step further…

The guy that knows nothing decide to buy your guide and read it… and few weeks later tells you they plan to write their own guide. Your results haven’t changed yet and you haven’t developed your own system that works.

The only thing that changed is you read my book and now you’re ready to write your own? Ridiculously annoying!

But that is the internet for you, anyone can be anyone they want. No proof needed.

14. Social Media “Guru” With A Follow Ratio of 10.1

This has to be the funniest of all the Twitter activities on this list.

A 10.1 ratio looks like this. You follow 10,000 people and only have 1,000 following you.

This is not a good look for the so called “Expert”

We all follow people and that’s fine, but if you are so good at social media then you should be getting huge follow back for your following. If you not then you may want to stop calling yourself a “expert” because you just look like a moron.

Here’s a secret… when you have 10,000 following and 1000 followers we ALL KNOW your chasing followers.. there is no skill in chasing.

Take this one annoying step further…

The SM expert that can’t get a social share on his blog if he paid for it.  Now if your a SM Expert then the least you should able to do is get shared.

To me Social Media is about getting shared. That is what SM is all about.

So if you call yourself a expert, guru, pro, god or whatever, then you should at least get your stuff shared to prove you know what you’re doing.

15. You Tweet With Every Breathe

You know the person that Tweets every 1-5 min almost as much as they breathe haha

This is annoying and to me counter-productive.

When you tweet that fast you make it hard to choose what I want to read and RT for you. Also doing this gives the person you just tweeted no real chance to get their stuff RT’d thru you since there are always new tweets coming thru every 1-5 minutes.

Now to me the point of sharing my stuff and your stuff is to get it first read and then RT’d. So why tweet in a way that hurts that?

The sales page idea fits here too. A sales page with to many calls to action is a mess, the reader has no idea what to do or why.

Spacing your tweets out more gives that tweet time to work for YOU and leaves you with more free time.


That’s it, all the things that annoy me on Twitter. Some of the Twitter activities are just annoying, some are annoying and will hurt your efforts long term.

So if you find you do some of these then you may want to stop since if it’s annoying to me, then there is a good chance it is annoying to other people too.

Don’t forget to leave a comment or I’ll Make My 3yr Old Nephew Kick You In Your Poo :)

Please Re-Tweet



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  • Beanmimo

    Hi John-Paul, you have some great tips here and I have learned some by trial and error and others I just felt were common sense but trial and error to some is common sense to others! It is well worth a share.   
    There is only one aspect of your blog I would defend. Some people are on twitter to chat as it is a wonderful tool for those who love to socialise and for one reason or another cannot. I, personally, wouldn’t disregard them so quickly. Hope I have not taken you up incorrectly.


  • http://ideagirlmedia.com/ Keri at Idea Girl Media


    Nice post — I’m annoyed by many of the same things. 

    You mention paper. though, and I see what you’re saying if it is a daily edition people are putting out.  Too much — overkill!

    I do use the weekly version to feature activity from the people in my Triberr tribe.  It comes out on Sunday, and it is more a way for us all to stay united and see what each is up to, rather than to promote each others’ tweets (we’re already doing that).

    Is a girl allowed one exception?  :)


  • MJGottlieb

    Wow u really went OFFFF! Longest post I’ve read from u to date but well worth the read! I agree with every point u said except the part on paperli as I have no clue what that is so I shall Google it now! … And the kid in the picture reminds me of “Charlie Bit My Finger” You Tube Vid. Gr8 post “Uncle John!”

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com John Paul

    Yea sometimes you gotta release to get the point across lol

    He looks like Dennis The Menace too and lil like my crazy nephew lol so was a perfect fit.

  • http://twitter.com/hollywoodlvwork Alice Fuller

    I have NO problem with a man asking to kiss me. In fact, some I wished had asked before going in for “the kill”. Ask me to RT! I have no prob with it!

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Asking for a RT thru DM isnt bad,, it becomes bad when it is all the time. Also asking for RTs in stream is not a good thing to do. It’s annoying.

  • http://www.saysaga.com/ Selim Yeniceri

    A “hit” post, very well worded, John. You made me rearrange some things, too. And please say “hi” to that “poo buster” for me! :)

  • http://twitter.com/atcaramel Anna N. Taylor

    Good afternoon John,
    Ouch! I read your article, with ease of course & thought, Crap? Have I done that? Then realized that I haven’t. Darn. Well, you’ve provided another great tool that can help out someone who does alot of the “No-no’s In Media Networking/Sharing” for sure. Respectfully, Anna

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    haha I will say hi for u. Glad u liked the post Selim.

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com/ John Paul

    Good to see you Anna, even better to hear your not doing the activities in the post haha and your butt is safe :)

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